Listen, I'm exhausted. Motherhood is amazing and all, but I didn't know I would be going back and forth with this kid starting at the age of 2! Like boy, how dare you "talk" back, but cuddle up to me right after? What type of mind game is this?! But yeah, I'm going to take the bait. This relationship is toxic, but how can I stay mad at that face, those cheeks, those dirty little cold hands and feet.
This is obviously what they mean by unconditional love. Because this boy can yell at me, bite his daddy, and smack the dog, and 2 minutes later, he's next to me on the couch as I protect him from the backlash. He has me wrapped around those dirty little fingers, but that's ok. It's only for now.. I mean, how long do we have left before he's an independent 5 year old? I mean, he is still a baby, just testing his little limits and learning how things work. He knows when and when not to try me, but sometimes he takes a chance and tests his luck. Can't be mad at a risk taker.
To make matters worse, my boy has a little brother on the way. I have to spend as much time as I can allowing him to be mommy's baby, before he has to become mommy's big boy! Things are about to change for him just like they did for us when he was born. Poor thing, about to have to deal with exhausted angry mommy all over again. Sorry in advance baby, but 2 boys and a dog. Mommy's patience is about to be tested, and I'm just trying to give my boy as much loving as I can before this whole house feels my wrath for a few months. Just until things are adjusted.
I love being a mommy, especially to such a character. It makes me wonder, what will he be like when he is older? Same way I wondered for nine months what he would look like, sound like and be like before he was born. The answer to those questions were "perfect". He's perfect in every way, even in his terrible two's. I have never loved someone so deeply, and it's scary. Every night as we are trying to put this kid to sleep, we are drained and annoyed because he usually fights or plays before finally giving in to bedtime. But every night after he is sound asleep, all of those feelings revert right back to my initial thought. He is perfect, as I kiss his sweaty cheek, he is perfect as he toots his little booty in the air, he is even perfect when he snores like he had a long day of work. But you know what? He did have a long day of work. He worked on his ABC's and 123's, he worked on his potty training, he worked on his behavior, and more than anything else, he worked our nerves. That's a lot for such a tiny body, so I'll let him have that.
Though mommy is exhausted and still trying to adjust to the thought of having two boys running around the house, I am glad that I was blessed with my first boy to train me for this long race ahead. He's been one of the toughest coaches I've ever worked with, but at least I know I'll be ready. We should be grateful to all the first born children out there who have been the guinea pigs for us to adjust into parenting. I say this because no matter what, I know that at some point in our lives we have questioned our parenting choices, wondering if we should have done certain things more or less, but for me, that smile on my boys face helps me to realize that we are doing the best we can. My boy is happy, he is playful, he is learning and he is sweet. I wouldn't label him as "bad" because he's not. He's more so busy than anything else, but I'll take that over anything for now. I just have to remind myself and others that he is only 2! I don't expect him to fall in line to things that he can barely comprehend right now. Like why does mommy want me to eat these nasty veggies? And why does mommy want me to start pooping in my potty all of a sudden?
Well, you know what baby? Mommy wants you to focus on enjoying your time as a toddler because there's no rush to growing up. I know that one day you are going to poop in the potty on your own, and I know that one day you will eat your veggies. And I know that one day I will yearn for these days of you being a terrible 2 year old again. I know that it's hard right now, but let's promise each other that we will work on living in the moment and taking our time growing up. Hell, in the words of your uncle Marty, "you ain't missing nothing but bills anyway." So enjoy your childhood baby, jump off that couch, color on the walls, chase down that dog and wrestle with her as much as your little heart desires. Mommy will be right her documenting every waking moment, because these are the good days.. the ones we'll never get back. I'll sleep when you and your brother are grown.
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